Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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