I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
