hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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