bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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