Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It's never too late to be topless.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
