I want to walk on stilts...naked
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Mom said you looked used
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
