she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize