getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
