just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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