I think im going to throw up on grandma
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
