its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
