Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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