We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
