best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize