That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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