I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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