Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
