i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
