Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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