so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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