From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
