i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
