Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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