remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
