the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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