please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
