ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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