good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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