i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize