u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
