haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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