come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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