WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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