He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
