My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
