how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
