Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
And then he peed in my hair
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