I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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