Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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