You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
