you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
