So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
