In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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