so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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