I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
