Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
