umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
