Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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