No awkward lesbian experiences without me
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
