If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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