im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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