Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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