That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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