i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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