when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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