It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
