Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I could fuck to npr.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
