i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
