He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
