The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
