# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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