Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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