I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
