That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
