left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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